Crossroad
by Secretsquirl
Summary: After Goku has died at the hands of Cell and his son had beaten the monster, What is Vegeta to do? What is there left to train for and what is there left to live for? A story totally from Vegeta point of view.


Author's Note: Okay…this is a story I wrote entirely from Vegeta's point of view after the Cell saga and the soul searching I'm sure his character would have had to have done. I hope you enjoy. I made up a few theories on why he changed and all that other good stuff, I'm not sure how well I wrote this…but well…constructive criticism is accepted although, I'm kinda insecure, but I'll try not to take it the wrong way….but I'm blabbering. Go on and read the story. I hope you like it.  
  
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I've thought of it often over the years that I've spent here, stuck on this mud ball of a planet. Why? Why did I stay? How? How is it that I changed? Most think it was because of him, because of the mercy he showed me when we fought all those years ago and in a way, I can see how they could come to that conclusion, although they are very wrong.  
  
Where and who I am today doesn't really have much to do with what transpired between us on that day directly. The rest of you probably think it's the woman who changed me. The one who made me see the white light of good and renounce my evil ways. Once again, I'm afraid you're off base. No child, woman or opponent could change me. Only, the prince of Saiyajins can willingly change myself, or at least I thought that.  
  
On that day, the first time I fought him, in case you aren't following me, I expected an easy victory. Of course, history shows that didn't happen, I was the victim of poor timing and circumstance on that occasion. Yanjarobi…. the obese one…I believe it was him who cut my tail off and later my armor, that was why I lost. It was not some powerful attack by Kakarot or some rage filled hit by his spawn. It was that overweight, blubbering coward whom inadvertently brought the Saiyajin prince to his knees.  
  
But…I'm getting off track and a headache at the thought. No, it wasn't Kakarot who made me what I am today, which is for all intensive purposes, another version of him. I'm a protector of this planet, how utterly ironic, the protector of something I loathe, then again, isn't that how my entire life has played out? I've never actually been or done what I truly wanted. No it's all been a shadow of something I conceived I wanted or something I did for survival. I adapted to my surroundings, which meant becoming like him, the one I hate and loathe most. Kakarot.  
  
Once again, though I digress. What is it that made me change? It was that attack…it should have killed me on that day but it didn't, it chose to spare me. Yes chose. I believe it's called the 'spirit bomb' or something ridiculous like that. I had been ready to kill that small bratty spawn of Kakarot's when I first saw it, the badly had thrown it at me and I had dodged. I congratulated myself too early though. Somehow, the spawn deflected it and threw right back at me, it consumed my already battered body and I could feel my life and force slipping away from me as I headed for the earth's atmosphere, fighting against it. Of course, I couldn't fight or struggle against, it looked as though my death would be at hand once I passed the first few layers of the stratosphere. But it was then that I realized this was no normal attack. Something was off about it, different. It didn't burn and singe me the way a normal attack would, on the contrary it was warm and almost…I don't know…. It wasn't a chi blast I realized it was life force,…I suppose spirit would be the right word to describe it? I stopped fighting it and then I realized something.  
  
For some reason when I didn't fight it, it didn't hurt me. Instead it seemed to do something else, assimilate with me? Is the only word I can think of to describe it. I became one with the force within it. As bizarre as it sounds it was the only chance I had for survival and snatched it. I let the power assimilate with me, become one with me. The attack dissipated around my body but I felt it's remainder inside of me. I didn't like the feeling right away. It was doing something to me. I felt it, it wasn't attacking…it was turning and reading into me. I really didn't like this. I knew I had made a mistake. I fought against it and almost had it beat when the ground rose to meet me and dazed me, I felt it latch on inside of me and take root. That spirit…it….it took something away from me, bit by bit, day by day I felt myself become softer.  
  
I tried to fight off the softness with hate, sarcasm and indifference, but it was there and as I came into contact with others, I realized they saw it. I tried to keep up my old self but I was collapsing in around myself, even now I feel it growing, I suppose by the time I'm an old man, I'll be a grinning, dopey double of Kakarot. If I end up like that…I'll kill myself somehow.  
  
That attack changed me somehow. Did Kakarot know what would happen when he used it? Perhaps. He's always been good with attacks. The bastard. I didn't ask him to save me, but of course he did, that third class clown. Taking away a piece of my pride along with it. My pride…the only thing I've retained since that attack. Yes…a Saiyajin's pride is their greatest asset, had I lost that I'd have died.  
  
Instead, I lived, I lived even after I died, wished back by the dragon balls, isn't that a hoot? Who dropped the ball on that one? Haha…get it? Ball…dragon ball? ARGH! See…the soft heartedness is still getting to me. Forget I ever said that or I'll blast you to kingdom come!  
  
Now where was I? Oh yes! My death…you know as much as that lousy attack changed me it didn't save me from hell. Funny, hell really isn't all it's cracked up to be. It wasn't much of a punishment and to be honest, I wouldn't mind going back again. The real hell was coming back to life on that dying piece of rock and seeing Kakarot obtain what I couldn't obtain. It was maddening. I'm the prince of Saiyajins, it was my birthright and that low class dolt came and took the glory away from me in one fine held swoop. He was a Super Saiyajin and defeated Frieza. The irony, the horror, the travesty…how like me.  
  
I'm the prince of a dead race. Stuck on a planet that has enslaved me to it, after escaping the slavery from a tyrant who ruled over me for years. No that's wrong…I apologize. I'm not a slave to this planet, I'm more of a…a poor servant, stuck here for lack of anything better to do. Yes, that describes it a little better.  
  
I can't win against him, against this attack that is still eating away at me, against my life. Everything is a battle for me. I try to think of what would happen if things were different. If I hadn't killed Nappa, if I had killed Frieza, if Vegeta-sai wasn't destroyed, if I had beaten Kakarot, if I had gotten my wish for immortality, if I had stayed dead. Make your choice of any of the above, any one event would have changed things.  
  
Instead, my fate has played out that I'm stuck here with a family. A family? I wish that one were a joke. No such luck. And do you think that he's here. No he's dead. Surprising isn't it? Sacrificing himself to kill Cell…not that it worked. How like him, the selfish prick.  
  
What do I do now? I'm stuck in some sort of never-ending limbo that will only end once I die, but will I go to hell or heaven? I wonder…  
  
I only wish to fight Kakarot again. I must to salvage the pride I have left. He owes me at least that after the indignity he's caused me. Then again…this part's surprising so hold on to your seats. I can't leave my family, death would be simple but it would leave the onna and brat behind. I've tried leaving on repeated occasions and the fact is I can't. Maybe it's my pride in knowing I can't leave until my job is done here or maybe it's the lousy attack eating away at my core. Who the hell knows? Who the hell cares?  
  
The fact is I'm stuck here Kakarot. Yes I'm speaking to you now you baka. I'm stuck here thanks to you. Yes, I know I'm contradicting myself. Fine, you played a role in all of this you bastard. The joke's on me but to leave me here in the middle of nothing…that's unfair. I only stayed here to fight you and you took that away from me. You've taken everything away from me and at the same time replaced it all, and I hate you're very being for it. When you come back, and you WILL come back I swear I will take my revenge on you by any means necessary. I swear it! Nothing will stop me this time. Not Bulma, Not Trunks, not Gohan, not you…by any means necessary…..but I'm wasting time telling all this to you, you probably don't even understand half of what I've said. I will train to get stronger and you will come back to me.  
  
I'm not soft hearted and I'll prove to you and everyone, you just wait and see Kakarot. 


End file.
